The Lord High Priest Bleeds
"Surely, Do you have a mirror?" - Bleeds, when asked if he might allow a fellow to watch him torture someone
From 4/1/96:
Lord Bleeds just arrived.
> Bleeds put a gleaming black ora scythe inside his black bamboo tube.
> Calice yells, "HOW MUCH"
> Bleeds slings a highly polished silver shield over his shoulder.
Bleeds scowls at Calice.
> Calice says, "Bleeds"
> Bleeds says, "Lord High Priest."
> Calice asks, "what have i done?"
Bleeds stares at Calice.
Bleeds frowns.
> You hear the ghostly voice of Lorius say, "I R E A L L Y N E E D A R E Z <LORIUS>"
> Bleeds kicks Lorius!
> Bleeds exclaims, "Stop that!"
Bleeds glares.
Calice asks, "BLEEDS WHAT HAVE I DONE?"
Bleeds exclaims, "Stop yelling!"
Bleeds glares at Calice.
Calice asks, "what !?!?!?!?!!?"
> Necrolyte exclaims, "SILVER WAND AT TSC! CHEAP!"
> Bleeds gestures and utters a phrase of magic.
> Bleeds gestures at Necrolyte. Strands of webbing shoot forth towards Necrolyte.
CS: +191 - TD: +2 + CvA: +10 + d100: +50 - +5 == +244
Warding failed! Necrolyte is firmly webbed in place.
Bleeds says, "Stop screaming."
> Necrolyte asks, "LORD BLEEDS?"
Bleeds bends slightly and slaps Necrolyte up'side his head!
A small bird lands nearby and begins to sing cheerfully.
> Bleeds exclaims, "Stop screaming!"
Bleeds removes a gnarled wooden staff carved in relief with the images of thousands of tiny spiders from inside his black bamboo tube.
> Bleeds leans on his staff.
Bleeds slings a highly polished silver shield over his shoulder.
Bleeds removes a twisted laen rod from inside his black bamboo tube.
> Titen recites:
"Anyone have an orc scalp"
> Lord Bleeds just went south.
Lord Bleeds just arrived.
Bleeds waves the laen rod at Titen.
CS: +183 - TD: +1 + CvA: +8 + d100: +96 - -5 == +291
Warding failed! Titen's eyes roll up into his head as he slumps to the ground.
Ilise meditates over Bleeds. Ilise strains, but nothing happens.
> Bleeds says, "Stop reciting poetry to get attention."
> Bleeds bends slightly and slaps Ilise up'side her head!
> Bleeds exclaims, "Do not touch me!"
> Titen snores quietly.
> Bleeds says, "Bloody parasite."
> Titen snores quietly.
Bleeds asks, "Whose bloody sword is this?"
> Bleeds raises an eyebrow.
You hear the ghostly voice of Asmoafal say, "Min lord bleeds"
> You hear the ghostly voice of Asmoafal say, "Bleeds I need to have a word with you by the way"
> Bleeds says, "My name is not 'Bleeds'."
> Elthariol sings:
"BLEEDING ONE PER ROUNF, down to 5, help!"
> Bleeds bends slightly and slaps Elthariol up'side his head!
Bleeds exclaims, "Stop that!"
You hear the ghostly voice of Asmoafal say, "Bleeds"
Bleeds says, "Lord High Priest Bleeds."
Bleeds scowls at Asmoafal.
You hear the ghostly voice of Crion exclaim, "Boy does this ever SUCK!!!!!"
Bleeds bends slightly and slaps Crion up'side his head!
Bleeds exclaims, "Shaddap!"
> Elthariol sings:
"Thanx to who stabilized me - 5/21, mild concussion, when someonehas the time"
> Elthariol smiles.
>Bleeds removes a twisted laen rod from inside his black bamboo tube.
Bleeds waves the laen rod at Elthariol.
CS: +183 - TD: +39 + CvA: +20 + d100: +69 - -5 == +238
Warding failed! Elthariol's eyes roll up into his head as he slumps to the ground.
Bleeds says, "Stop singing that horrid song."
Bleeds says, "Singing is for bards."
Darkserpent says, "MARSHEM NEEDS A REZZZ"
>Bleeds hauls off and slaps Darkserpent up'side his head!
Bleeds exclaims, "Stop that screaming!"
Bleeds gestures and utters a phrase of magic.
> Bleeds gestures at Darkserpent.
CS: +209 - TD: +13 + CvA: +20 + d100: +26 - -5 == +247
Warding failed! His eyes flash with a searing jolt of light! He is stunned!
> You hear the ghostly voice of Zalorain say, "I NEED TO BE REZZED"
> Bleeds kicks Zalorain!
Bleeds exclaims, "Shaddap!"
Bleeds says, "The next person who says the word 'rezz me' will answer to Bleeds."
Bleeds exclaims, "Stop slobbering in my ear!"
> Bleeds glares at Darkserpent.
Darkserpent gestures at Bleeds.
CS: +34 - TD: +204 + CvA: +14 + d100: +15 == -141
Warded off! Bleeds is unaffected.
> Darkserpent just went south.
> Bleeds rubs a black widow charm. Bleeds suddenly disappears.
You hear the voice of Bleeds exclaim, "The chase begins!"
From 12/95:
>wear gold ring
You slide the ring on your finger. Suddenly your surroundings shift...
[Town Square Central] This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing, where townsfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet. An old well and an oak are here. You also see some brown socks, a pretty flower girl, the Sladur disk, the Biinc disk, a large acorn, a badly damaged maple trunk, a rotting wooden box, a plainly wrapped package, a plainly wrapped package and some stone benches with a stylish violet apron on it. Also here: a stunned Biinc (kneeling), Cynric, Jaek, Maidenstone, a stunned and webbed a stunned and calmed Nevinral (prone), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Zaene, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Sarat, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Althan,a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Yahhumatu (prone), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Jaelithe, the body of a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Aralessa (prone), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Renceward, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Peregrena, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Bergmot (seated), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Sladur (seated), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Jayare, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Enyo, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Lord Ragni, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Byar, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Jeszibel (seated), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Annalisa, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Muunshadow, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Crysander (prone), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Foag, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Exile, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Mirthril, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Legendary (prone), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Healman, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Moshar, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Eschew, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Camber (seated), a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Mithros, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Anehg, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Silvarwoolf, a stunned and webbed a calmed and webbed a stunned and calmed Depan. Obvious paths: east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest. You feel a little pulse in the ring.
Then you get that person who walks in the room...
Tantra asks, "Why is everyone stunned and calmed?"
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And a special treat for those who stayed tuned (author unknown):
I'm new to the town,
Don't have any gear,
A poor NEW-BIE
Honest work's what I fear.
So I stand in TS
As I yell through the din:
"Someone give me some coins!!"
(Then I'll yell it again!)
Soon comes the refrain:
"Get a job!" they all say,
So of course I must prove
Sloth really does pay
I'll cut and I'll paste
(Same typos and all)
"Gimme cions!!"
"Gimme cions!!" I'll yell (then I'll bawl)...
But fades in an angel
A man dressed in black,
Ora scythe in his hand,
Leather cloak on his back...
He pulls out a stick
A rod made of laen
He waves it at me
As he sings his refrain
Oh, Lord Bleeds,
Won't ye sleep me please?
I fear I have caught
A crippling disease!
I have not a sword,
I know not a spell,
I'm stuck in TS
And do nothing but yell!
"Knock it off," yells The Bleeds,
Waves his rod made of laen
I slump to the ground
Sticky webs in my brain
I wake in a daze,
The Bleeds - what a jerk!
I head to Moot Hall:
It's on to the Clerk!
I enter his office
And scream for a job
He gives me a message,
A wink and a nod,
"Find the Fortune-telling Gypsy!"
He says with a grin,
Now I'll yell on the net,
Though some think it a sin.
"OH WHERE IS THE GYPSY??"
"OH WHERE CAN SHE BE??"
Then comes the reply
"Shaddap!" thinks The Bleeds.
Oh Lord Bleeds,
Won't you web me please?
Sling that spell,
Make my body freeze.
My time runs short,
I need to yell,
So please, Lord Bleeds,
Please cast your spell!
A rat bit my leg,
My arm and my head
I'm not gonna die,
(It's the bruises I dread.)
I go to TS
To sing of my pain,
I belt out my lines -
Oh no! HIM again!!
Oh Lord Bleeds
Won't you sleep me please?
Wave that rod,
Make me weak in the knees!
My pain is great!
My boo-boos many!
Don't let me sing
And be a ninny!
Once more to the hunt!
Back into the fray!
But alas, yet again,
It just isn't my day.
I fear I've been cursed
My luck is so poor
An orc slit my throat
`Ere I'm outta the door
A friend drags my corpse
To the middle of town
Yells "REZZ MY FRIEND!!"
And elicits a frown
From The Bleeds..
But I know (I have proof!)
The more that I whine
The better my chances
Of living on time... so...
"HELP!! REZZ ME NOW!!!"
I'll scream and I'll beg
OW!!! What was that???
A sharp pain in my leg!
"Shaddap!" yells The Bleeds,
Then he kicks me again!
"Be quiet, you fool!"
"Don't add to the din!"
"I NEED AN LK!!!!!!!!!!"
(Don't know what that means)
I scream it because -
It's what dead people scream.
"Bleeds will cut off your lips!"
Yells ol' webby once more,
Grabs onto my arm,
Drags me into a store.
My tale ends here.
I'm sorry to say.
The Bleeds has my body...
He won't let me decay.
"I'LL B BACK!! U WILL SEE!!!"
My mighty corpse roars,
"I WILL REEK MY REVENGE!!"
"THEN I'LL REEK IT SOME MORE!!"
"Sure you will, " smirks The Bleeds,
As my 'puter grows dim...
Guess I'll wait till tomorrow 'fore I log in again.
I'll look for a figure, leather cloak with gold trim
Then hold my breath...and pray it ain't Him...