The Goat's Suppertime
This is an edited account of the Halcyon Festival's rhyming contest, which I was roped into hosting. Being the lazy stinker I am, I didn't make up the rules until an hour beforehand, so much credit goes to the contestants for how smoothly everything went. I've edited out my occasional countdowns but they were the cause of most of the uneven rhymes. Wanna know who won? Keep your eyes peeled for the Seussian rhyme...
You exclaim, "Where's the merchie?!"
Flashback to the talent show.
You say, "Have a seat, and join me if you want to play."
Perigourd asks, "what rhymes with orange?"
Lyvonia exclaims, "porridge!"
You say, "Sporran...j...s."
Obviously I wasn't paying very much attention.
You say, "Welcome to the Halcyon Festival rhyming contest. This year we're going to collectively tell a story through rhyme. I've never done this, of course, but that's never stopped me before."
You say, "I'm going to start with a line. We'll go to my right around the circle of players. The next person must rhyme my line, to make a couplet, then add a new line (which doesn't have to rhyme, but can if you really want it to). Then the person to *her* left rhymes the last line to make a couplet and adds a new line, and so on."
You say, "Er, her right."
You say, "Not left."
Mirsen exclaims, "I don't know where I am!"
Mirsen flails her arms about.
Mirian came through a loose tent flap.
Mirian sits down.
You blink.
At this point I was apparently too distracted to pay attention to the last three letters of a person's name, as I thought Mirsen, who was already in the tent, came in through the flap. Now I don't know where *I* am.
You say, "You'll have a few moments to think of something. Then recite your rhyming-couplet-ending line and the new line at once. But make sure we can tell they're separate lines."
You say, "For instance. I might start with:"
You recite:
"The little orc was sleeping in the hay."
You say, "The next person might recite:"
You recite:
"He had enough of hunting elves today.
He dreamed a dream of lovely orcish lasses."
You say, "Next person..."
You recite:
"Who ran to him from lovely mountain passes.
And then he woke. His spirit broke."
You say, "And so on."
You say, "I'll let you know when you're next. If you take a long time I'll start a countdown. If you still can't think of anything good, you can still add something not-so-good, or you can pass. If someone gives you an impossible rhyme, just use the same word again if you want."
Perigourd grins evilly.
Nofret says, "This is going to be fun."
Mirsen nods to Nofret.
You say, "I encourage reciting anything, however dumb, over passing. What you think is dumb may strike a fancy with the other players. Which is important since you will be judged by a jury of your peers."
You say, "Well, a panel anyway. You'll be judged on--in order of importance--speed, cleverness, keeping the story going without any really random twists or turns, and finishing couplets with the same cadence and number of syllables as the last person."
You say, "Getting something out fast is more important than making sure it makes complete sense or has the right cadence. Don't agonize over your verse. Finally, I ask the audience to be mostly quiet, though the occasional comment won't hurt anything."
Mirsen says, "This needs drink."
Mirsen removes some Stuck Pig Ale from in her leather jacket.
[Silk Tent]
Long sheets of yellow silk sewn together with white silk thread form the
walls and ceiling of this tent. Thin thanot poles line the perimeter of the
tent, supporting the thin silk canopy. A single lantern overhead spreads
a warm glow that dances across the silk walls. You also see the Seesfar disk
and a loose tent flap.
Also in the room: Mirian who is seated, Tigressah who is seated, Lord Keredoc,
Journeyman Xeto, Lord Seesfar who is kneeling, Lord Subothai, Mirsen who
is seated, Lord Perigourd who is seated, Lady Nofret who is seated, Lady
Ceolmhor who is seated
Obvious exits: none.
You say, "This is a good game because I don't have to keep score as we go along."
You wipe the sweat from your brow.
You say, "All right. I will start with a line now. As soon as I think of one."
(Tigressah mumbles rhyming words, couting her list on her fingers, trying to get ready)
You recite:
"In River's Rest there was a singing goat."
You say, "Ceolmhor."
Ceolmhor nods.
Ceolmhor recites:
"Who had a lockpick stuck right in his throat.
Although he really tried to cough it up ..."
Nofret recites:
"He finally was forced to ask a wolf pup
"What shall I do, to free myself?"
Perigourd recites:
"The wolf pup said you might ask and elf.
so the goat ran around to try and find"
Mirsen recites:
"An elf to help him in the nick of time
He came upon a large and surly one"
Xeto recites:
"And thie elf told him to take his thumb
And place it in the back where the lockpick was"
Keredoc recites:
"His thumb he did indeed shove
Andout the lockpick came with luck"
Tigressah recites:
"The goat, now hungry, went looking for a duck
to fill up his belly"
You recite:
"All he found was jelly.
Reluctantly, he slurped it up."
Ceolmhor recites:
"And said, "More! Now I must sup!"
He wandered into the town commons ..."
Nofret recites:
"Where he ran into the town's great Brahmins
Or at least those who claimed to be elite."
Perigourd recites:
"But inside he could find nothing to eat
so he ran outside to find more food"
Mirsen recites:
"But found the cooks were all in a bad mood
So sadly he sat down and gave a bleat"
Xeto recites:
"For what he really wanted was a little treat
In the house on the left he smelled a nice tart"
Tigressah recites:
"Fortunately the house window was sitting ajar
With quiet footsteps he crept to the house"
Keredoc recites:
"Running afoul of an ill tempered mouse
with a quick leap he ran for the door"
You recite:
"But he slipped and he slid and he fell on the floor.
Getting up from the floor is quite hard for a goat."
Ceolmhor recites:
"Especially one suffering "post-lockpick-in-throat."
So quickly he scrambled and crawled on his knees ..."
Nofret recites:
"When he heard a voice screaming, 'Begone! You have fleas!'
It was the tart--fair, but alas, not edible."
Perigourd recites:
"But he ate the tart anyway, not the least beat dilectable
he looked for something more tasty then the tart"
Mirsen recites:
"But forgot the dread mouse, which wasn't too smart
The mouse roared with anger right in his face"
Xeto recites:
"Which made the poor goat forget his place
And he bolted for the nearest safe haven"
Tigressah recites:
"But unfortunately the path was too far to Solhaven
So the goat decided within the Rest to flee"
Keredoc recites:
"And with that bended down one knee
from a runners start he truly bolted"
You recite:
"His ears were laid back, his knee joints were jolted.
He ran for the zoo. Where else, I ask you?"
Ceolmhor recites:
"And there he found a monkey or two.
With great disgust, he was kissed on the lips ..."
Nofret recites:
"By a crocodile with enormous hips
He fled in terror to the Eye"
Mirsen recites:
"And there he stopped and heaved a great sigh
He asked for a drink from the bartender stout"
Xeto recites:
"Since he saw that there was noone else about
The bartender offered "Perhaps you'd like an Ale?"
Tigressah recites:
"The goat drank that ale but the darn thing was stale
Stil a drink is a drink as long as it gets you drunk"
Keredoc recites:
"But the ale put him in a depressive funk
so off he wabdered through streets dark and dim"
Perigourd recites:
"But there was nothing he could eat to satisfy him
he came back to this tent in mournful mood"
You say, "And now our special guest, Tanager."
Tanager recites:
"And thinking goat-thoughts with an eye towards the lewd,
He offered Juspera the concluding rhyme...."
You recite:
"All who played were in good, and all verse in good time."
You say, "The end."
Somehow I missed the "lewd" part. Can you forgive me?
Ceolmhor lets out a cheer!
Mirsen lets out a cheer!
Tanager laughs!
Keredoc applauds.
Xeto lets out a cheer!
Mirsen exclaims, "Huzzah!"
Xeto applauds.
Mirsen lets out a cheer!
Tanager applauds.
Seesfar applauds.
Tigressah flings herself against you, bounces off you, and giggles madly!
Perigourd lets out a cheer!
Ceolmhor applauds.
Lyvonia's black goat pin scratches its back, using her as a scratching post!
Tigressah starts jumping around like a twelve-year-old.
You laugh out loud!
Mirian applauds.
Tigressah exclaims, "yeah!"
Lyvonia lets out a cheer!
Perigourd swoons.
Nofret recites:
"And we are finished with 'The Goat's Suppertime.'"
Mirsen lets out a cheer!
You laugh out loud!
Xeto begins chuckling at Nofret.
Mirsen says, "I kept expecting him to sing for his supper"
Mirsen says, "But it wouldn't rhyme."
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